Dawn on Midday

Valentine’s Day, it is upon all of us. Such a simple event, a simple occasion, and yet it has great impact. Ah, such are the stuff that makes life worth living.

I experienced sincere joy and contentment today. I did not think it possible. To be honest, I was quite anxious at first. I had no real plans laid out. I wasn’t able to come up with some profound way I could express my feelings for her (hey, I’m hard pressed to match my candle stunt, I’d tell you that right now). I was afraid I couldn’t make the day special for safranin.

So, after my 10:00-11:30 class, I decided to just wing it. I drove over to a flower shop nearby (thank God I had the car today), and bought three (3) Red Roses and three (3) Purple Mums (That was all that I could afford to buy since the price of flowers has skyrocketed). I also got a cream puff pack. I was thinking, “You’re so lame. Flowers? Cream Puffs? Sounds like flowers and chocolates to me. How cliché. Wala ka bang natitirang originality?” I really wanted to give her something original, something I put much effort into, but there was no time to think about it, and no time to do it had I an idea.

On my way back to school I sent her a text asking her where she was. She answered, “Sa tambayan lang. Sobrang stressed.” Wow, talk about added anxiety. She had a text coming up after our break, it was Valentine’s Day, she was stressed, and all I had was the “Cliché Pack”.

Anyway, I drove to their tambayan and gave her the flowers and cream puffs. Wow, I could have died right there and then. She was so pleased with such a simple gesture. The look she gave me was one of such love that I lost my breath for a few seconds. She has never looked so beautiful to me, as she did then.

I thought to myself, “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her. But God for all that I am, let me keep her. Don’t take her away from me.” And then it dawned on me; the simplicity of my act doesn’t make it any less special. As they say, it’s the simple things in life that count. And for as long as I could relate to her even a fraction of what I feel (because I know that nothing I do can encompass the enormity of my love for her), I would be happy and take pride in doing it, be it simple or complex.

And so the sun shone brighter and cleared the darkness. It was a new dawn on midday.

I love you.

Some Apt Descriptions

It seems I have some sort of freaky luck when it comes to blog tests. I got these tests from Corsarius

What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.

here's another

find your element at mutedfaith.com.

And yes, another.

Find your Role-PlayingStereotype at mutedfaith.com.

Why is it that freaky things happen to me, more than most? Uber accurate personality tests, stalkers, freaky lady driver who wants me to call her, and the like? It's a mystery.

Valentine Spirit

It’s been so long since I had time to write something, and also have something to write about.

This early evening has been a bit interesting. I was planning to watch Nicholas Cage’s “National Treasure”, instead, I found myself watching a show called “One Tree Hill”, of all things. And I can say I’m quite glad that I did. It’s just a little something that’s quite applicable this Valentine Season.

Funny. I never thought I would find something like this in a show like that. What did I find? A little something called...

Reaffirmation.

The episode dealt with something a person has to deal with at one point or another. Something called Sex. As I see it, as times progress, people are forced to deal with this issue earlier, and earlier, and earlier. Way back then I figure a person would have to deal with sex only when he was married. And then society moved into the liberal realm of prolific pre-marital sex. And then we moved into the sort of sick world of teenagers, mere children, having sex.

I can see why humans are naturally attracted to the prospect of fulfilling that carnal, animal desire. After all, I am human. But all through out, I’ve stood by one simple principle: There is no room for sex without responsibility.

Now up until tonight, it was just so matter of fact to me. I took it for what it is: the right and responsible thing to do. But when I saw that show, the real impact of that decision to abide by my principles hit me.

The show made a great portrayal of the repercussions of sex without responsibility. And what was great about it was, the trials and trepidations they displayed were those faced by a guy. Lucas, one of the main characters, had a pregnancy scare with his ex-girlfriend. I could feel a bit of how scary the situation was for a young man like him.

“I don’t think we’re ready to be parents. We are just too young,” said Lucas. He was really affected. He was not able to look past the heat of the moment then, when he slept with Brooke. His loins were doing the talking, while his mind was doing the walking... away that is. The responsibilities and repercussions of his acts were the farthest things from his mind. And now, when it all comes crashing down upon him, he breaks down.

He told his mother about it. After a slap to the face, she proceeded to cry with him. “This is exactly what I did not want for you. You have so many things to do, so much ahead of you,” she said. His actions not only hurt himself, it hurt his mother as well.

Lucas himself was the bastard son of Dan Scott, and Dan gave him some unsolicited advice. He wanted him to tell Brooke that she must have the baby aborted. He said that’s what he wanted Karen, Lucas’ mother, to do when he got her pregnant. Imagine how that would have felt, being told by your father that he wanted you aborted.

And so I was really glad to have seen that episode. Like I said, it was a reaffirmation. I know I’m not ready for that responsibility. I know I’m not ready to put the woman I love, or any woman for that matter, in a position wherein she’d have to choose between changing her life by having the child, or change her life by having an abortion. In my mind I know I would have done as Lucas did, support the woman I got pregnant no matter what she decides. But I’d rather not be put in that situation that proves my “valor and sense of responsibility” in the first place.

I picture myself having to deal with the issue of being a parent when I’m a lot older, wiser, and more mature. I picture myself facing that issue when I’m more stable, financially, and emotionally. And most especially, I picture myself becoming a PARENT with a woman that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, not just a seed-source with a woman that just tickled me in the right place at a very wrong time.

I would do everything I can to fulfill that vision, and so I can say one thing: There really is no room for sex without responsibility.

Hey, that show just proves the old saying right. “Don’t judge my brother, he’s not a book,” errr... maybe it was “Bird’s of the same feather are the same birds” no... Oh well. I just know that the old saying is right. I guess I could watch that show without flinching now.